Wanted: Independent Contractors to Act as “Controlled Opposition” (Satire)


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Deep State Enterprises is looking for independent contractors in their “Controlled Opposition” Division. If you think you may be qualified, please consider the following:

REQUIREMENTS

  1. Experience preferred, but will train right candidate
  2. Experience in gaslighting preferred
  3. A fondness for “selective truthfulness” required
  4. Computer skills important
  5. Quick witted with 1-liners a plus
  6. Knowledge of SJW talking points
  7. An eagerness to ward off deeper conversation

Below are some topics that will often be encountered in everyday conversation. Note: the first list is what you are “allowed” to promote, as an advocate of free speech. The second list is where we don’t want people to go.

The lists are not exhaustive, and more topics will be introduced as you gain experience.

ACCEPTABLE TOPICS

  • Biological differences between men and women
  • Debunking the wage gap
  • Debunking cultural Marxism
  • Pointing out culture clash with Islam
  • Mocking Trudeau’s silly agenda
  • Calling out SJW identity politics
  • Pointing out financial costs of mass migration
  • Ridiculing the “diversity is our strength” motto
  • Noting differences in cultural groups

“UN”ACCEPTABLE TOPICS

  • Biological differences between racial groups
  • Why the gender pay gap illusion exists
  • Investigating “why” cultural Marxism exists
  • Examining the sources and goals of Islam
  • Questioning who is behind Trudeau’s silly agenda
  • Unifying a nation under an identity
  • Pointing out social costs of mass migration
  • Asking “why” diversity is better than unity
  • Asking if cultural groups are compatible

As a member of the “controlled opposition” team, your job is not to allow free speech and open debate. Rather, it is to allow the “illusion” of free speech and debate.

During your orientation, you will be given the manual of which topics are acceptable, and to what degree

COMPENSATION

  1. Competitive wages
  2. Matching RRSP contributions
  3. 3 weeks annual vacation to start
  4. Telecommuting – can often work from home
  5. Extensive dental and medical benefits
  6. A challenging atmosphere with room to grow

Contact — Kelly in Prince Albert, SK
(like Heisenberg in Breaking Bad, she is only known by one name)

Posting open until May 15, or until filled

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