PPC Announces The Release Of Internal Party Constitution (Satire)

Party insiders have announced that the People’s Party of Canada will be releasing its internal party constitution, to entrench the rights and responsibilities of members.

When asked why it took over a year and a half to release a 12 page document, they replied that they had been preoccupied with other party functions. They said it took a lot of work to build a party from scratch, but did not elaborate further.

Of course, the party constitution will be just one governing document to be released. However, further documents will be based on the content and principles laid out in the party constitution.

The full document will be released to the public on Friday April 3rd. However, those same insiders have leaked the following details to the media:

  • Mandatory leadership convention after every federal election. All party members in good standing will be eligible to run for leadership.
  • Establishment of a National Governing Council, with members chosen by region. This will be to provide oversight over the leader and establish a check and balance.
  • Policy votes to be held after a minimum of 18 months, and a maximum of 3 years after the last vote. All members will eligible to put issues forward.
  • Oversight measures added to ensure extra transparency, especially related to leadership races and policy votes.
  • Policies to be adopted based on 70% participation, and majority approval in convention votes.
  • EDA regulations to ensure that they are chosen locally, not as the result of national interference.
  • Formation of bylaws regarding membership regulation and codes of conduct.
  • Guidelines to ensure donor money is well spent.
  • Measures to ensure private personal data is not leaked.
  • Provisions that the party may not be disbanded, or merge with another party without a 75% approval from members.

Sources commented (concerning the last point), that Bernier was getting annoyed that Twitter trolls were spreading rumours that PPC was only meant to be a temporary party. They denied that he was planning to unilaterally disband once the donations dried up. They added, once the constitution is formalized, we can put that rumour to bed forever.

The PPC is here to stay, they gloated. We have no intention of a merger, particularly with the CPC, now headed by Peter “the Shank” MacKay. As stated before, we support our Leader, Maxime Bernier as leader of the Party. Unconditionally.

The full version will be released shortly.

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