Transcript of the Maxime Bernier/Wendy Mesley Interview (Satire)

(Fine journalism in Canada)

(Fine Journalism in the U.K.)

(Here is the full version of Canadian one)

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Actually, it is pretty tough to top the actual video, but let’s try:

Wendy: Hello Max, thanks for coming on

Max: Great to be here.

Max: Nice weather.
Wendy: So you’re saying climate change is fake?

Max: I had bacon & eggs this morning.
Wendy: So you’re saying vegans should die?

Max: Border control is important.
Wendy: So you’re saying die immigrants?

Max: SM hurts consumers
Wendy: So you’re saying farmers are Nazis?

Max: I believe that women should have the power to make their own choices.
Wendy: So you’re saying you think your biker girlfriend should be showing cleavage?

Max: I have nothing to do with the Koch brothers, or Atlas.
Wendy: So you’re saying they are financing your campaign?

Max: Again, I have nothing to do with Atlas.
Wendy: So you’re saying Atlas is funding “paid protesters”?

Max: Once more, I am not involved with Atlas.
Wendy: So you’re saying we had weekly meetings?

Max: I believe in personal responsibility.
Wendy: So you’re saying that marginalized groups should be exterminated?

Max: Government and taxpayers should not be subsidising corporations.
Wendy: So you’re saying the workers at GM and Bombardier should starve to death?

Max: Responsible gun owners should be left alone by the government.
Wendy: So you’re saying you sympathise with school shooters?

Max: Pipelines in Western Canada can help grow our economy.
Wendy: So you’re saying that you want to destroy the environment?

Max: I believe that we can stimulate growth and reduce unemployment.
Wendy Ocasio-Cortez: So you’re saying unemployment is low because people work 2 jobs?

Max: Health care is a provincial matter. They should make decisions.
Wendy: So you’re saying you want to set up “death-panels”?

Max: Education is a provincial matter, and the curriculum should be formed by them.
Wendy: So you’re saying that schools should be teaching 4 year old about sex changes?

Max: Immigration must not be used to drastically change our culture. Changes should be gradual.
Wendy: So you’re saying you believe Whites are superior?

Max: I believe gov’t should be focusing on what unites us as a people.
Wendy: So you’re saying you will deport people who don’t agree with you?

Max: Our party is small, but is well organized.
Wendy Newman: So you’re saying we should organize your party along the lines of the lobsters?

Max: I believe that harsh penalties for simple drug possession is excessive.
Wendy: So you’re saying you support Walter White selling blue meth?

Max: The money we give to the UN is often wasted.
Wendy: So you’re saying we should invade Chile?

Max: I believe in free speech.
Wendy: Doesn’t free speech make people uncomfortable?
Max: You’re doing that to me right now.
Wendy: But you don’t …..
Max: Ha, Gotcha.

Max: I’m trying to appeal to the 30-35% of Canadian who don’t vote.
Wendy: So you’re saying you are a fringe party?

Wendy: Thank you for coming in today, Maxime.

Max: I need a drink. Or ten.

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