Sales Of Negative PCR Tests, Vaccination Records Soar As Crazies Get Creative (Satire)

Winter had fallen on Westeros, or Canada, as it’s now commonly known. The White Walkers from the RCMP began their quest to stamp out heretics who question authority.

King Justin of House Castro recently changed the family motto. It used to be “a Trudeau always pays his debts”, but after widespread mockery, a new one is being worked on. Lady Freeland of House Nattzi serves as the Hand of the King. And as the expression goes: “The King sh**s, and the Hand wipes”.

The ironically named Masters-of-Coin had spent the Kingdom’s wealth on well…. we’re not really sure what.

Lord Erin of House The-Toole serves as the Court Jester. His latest act is pretending to be an opposing force to the King.

The final straw was when Randy, of House Queen’s Park, had his tongue cut out. It was not because he had been proven a liar, but because Lord Cheesecake feared what he might say.

Crystal, of House Plaid, and the 4th of her name, came up with such a business opportunity recently. She understands, that when you play the Game of Thrones, you win, or you die. There is no middle ground. Hence, her enterprise was formed out of necessity.

As such, negative test results are now available to all. Once your payment of 1 gold piece is received, the merchant shall send ravens and deliver the negative test.

The finest engineers in the realm worked long and hard to develop a microchip that includes a record of vaccination, and also whatever medical history the wearer wants. Once the chip is implanted, then the forces trapping them in their neighbourhood will vanish.

A modification of the cloak of invisibility now means that it will look like a person is wearing a mask when they are not. Those products are constantly selling out.

Crystal has finally perfected the magic stones of teleportation. With those, people will be able to travel freely throughout the realm, and avoid those checkpoints.

The dragons circling the air (also called drones), have been a serious problem for many. However, spears are now available that can drop one in a single shot.

As the oppression intensifies, these services will become more and more important. The Night King known as Bill dreams of a realm with far fewer people. His medicines are supposed to make that happen.

With the document business booming, more and more people can escape from the tyranny.

Crystal can be reached at the website: https://www.fuckyoumakeme.com

One Reply to “Sales Of Negative PCR Tests, Vaccination Records Soar As Crazies Get Creative (Satire)”

  1. Hey I couldn’t find a contact on we both site but I think
    We’re on the same page in enough areas to discuss joining forces to achieve mutually desired outcomes. The sarcastic wit of the above post made me think “there is my long lost brother.”. I’m using an alias and you may as well You can call me Justin TimberWolf my email is arisenshine@mail.com
    I am just getting my gloves on now but have been training for this match for decades.
    Cheers
    Justin Tim-Ber!……Wolf

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