Maiden Liberty On Managing The Crisis Actor Division (Satire)

Notorious YouTuber, Maiden Liberty, has been put in charge of managing the Crisis Actor Division. The announcement was made early in 2021 that she would be taking the role with Babylon Beaver.

Maiden seems to have found the right mix to perpetuate the hoaxes: feed the masses about 90% truth, and the other 10% being plausible sounding B.S. Previously, the organization had gone with the 75-25 mix, but that led to the psy-ops being exposed far too early.

Her background as a chiropractor and massage therapist has also significantly cut costs when the actors get roughed up pretending to be victims. We prefer to keep people off the payroll as formal employment generates an unnecessary paper trail.

For those of you who don’t know: crisis actors are paid actors who pretend to either be victims or witnesses to a major event that didn’t actually happen. Typically, they are involved in hate crime hoaxes, protests, staged car accidents, robberies, lynchings and other shocking affairs. The trick is mixing them up, so that the same actors aren’t photographed at too many events. (That’s how Forrest Gump was found out).

Maiden helped launch the “psy-op passport” so employees can easily keep track of what they’ve been involved with. 14 days after their second event, workers are considering fully trained, although there are discussions about including a booster hoax.

Maiden handles pressure well. 3 of her actors were arrested in August by the RCMP for their complicity in staging a riot in Montreal. Oddly, they all committed suicide before they could be interrogated. That certainly saved the company some embarrassment.

The C.A. Division has absorbed the Fed Posting Branch as part of corporate restructuring. Strangely, a poster who ignored company memos to use a VPN has gone missing.

The C.A. Division plans to expand into having crazies spout off conspiracy theories — that are truthful — in order to drive away otherwise sane people. Other managers tried using actual crazies and just giving them a script, but that hasn’t worked out too well so far.

Maiden’s recent Covid script has been a success. By having the normies argue about whether this is a natural or engineered virus, they aren’t figuring out that it doesn’t exist. By having people fight over which lie is real, the truth often slips through.

The C.A.D. is looking for an experienced makeup artist to create realistic looking wounds for future events. The last one had an attack of conscience, just before dying unexpectedly of natural causes.

On a negative note: layoffs have recently been for the vaccine injured actors. Turns out that there were far too many legitimate ones willing to work for free.

Babylon Beaver is still accepting clients for future crises. As usual, all packages will include the necessary research in order to ensure the maximum reaction is obtained. Don’t worry, we don’t use amateurs like Jussie Smollett did.

Keep up the great work, Maiden.

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