Government Asks Whites To Stop Having Children To Prevent Covid Spread (Satire)

Canada’s Immigration Minister has publicly asked for people of European descent to stop having children for the foreseeable future, in order to stop the spread of Covid-19.

Not only is speaking English risky, (as outlined by Yahoo and Forbes), but certain ethnic groups were prone to spreading it a lot faster.

According to new computer modelling by Professor Neilio Fergusonino, Europeans have a 50% greater likelihood of spreading the virus than do other groups. Since Covid is here to stay, it’s only suitable that those at the greatest risk.

Details of this modelling were not released. However, the science is settled, and there is no debate on the issue. After all, the anti-pluggers and anti-crawlers were outraged initially, but eventually went along with science.

Sacrifices had to be made now, to ensure what happened in March in Kelowna would not become a regular occurrence.

Ontario Premier Doug Ford is riding high in the polls after publicly announcing he was infected. People temporarily forgot about the economic collapse he caused.

However, some admitted, this presents a great opportunity to further diversify Canada by replacing the old-stock Canadians with a more diverse forms of culture and heritage. Officials admitted that without the pandemic, it would be hard to get people on board with this.

Canada was going further into a multicultural mode. Sure, politicians would be resentful because of their leading role. But without that leading role, Canada would not survive.

The Immigration Minister’s Press Secretary wrote:

In pluralistic societies like Canada, we do not derive our identity from our racial, religious or ethnic origin — unlike most countries in the world. We derive our identity from shared values.
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Diversity is important. There’s no doubt about that.
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We need to challenge one another with new ideas, innovative thinking and differing perspectives in order to grow and thrive, as well as to solve the problems of our day. Societies that are too conformist or homogeneous are not only boring and banal places to live, they’re also destined to fail.
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Look at North Korea — the most homogeneous country in the world; closed to immigration and most trade — where everyone is equal in their misery and nothing meaningful has changed in decades.
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Or Japan, which allows little diversity in ethnic makeup or societal norms, and, in turn, the population is aging, the economy is stagnant, and debt is ever-growing. In other words, the society is dying.
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Diversity is necessary. But diversity, in and of itself, is not necessarily a feature. The most diverse empires and countries in the world have fractured, imploded or dissolved, be it the Roman Empire, the Ottoman Empire or the former Yugoslavia. Diversity alone wasn’t the problem, but diversity without a common commitment, in other words, without unity, led to collapse.
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We need shared laws, shared values, shared traditions, and a shared identity to thrive and succeed. We need pluralism and nationhood.
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It’s unity that makes us love our country and fosters patriotism. It’s unity — imbedded within diversity — that is our true strength.

Racist Alt-Righters immediately accused the Government of trying to replace them. They allege that stopping white births, combined with importing more people was a plan to breed out whites.

Officials denied that there was any effort to replace them. Bringing more people to Canada was necessary to make up for a work shortfall caused by certain groups not having more children.

In 5 to 10 years, we should have this pandemic under control, the Minister said. At that point, if whites are properly vaccinated, and have been wearing masks, we will certainly invite them to have children again.

However, he added, by that point, Canada will be so radically transformed that the majority may decide that white supremacy is no longer welcome.

Another report found that tall people were more likely to catch the coronavirus. Officials are speculating about ways to navigate that problem.

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