Babylon Beaver Endorses The Nationalist Parody Canuck (NPC) Party

We are at a critical junction in Canadian politics. Some hard choices need to be made in the coming years. Indeed, this election, and the next few, will shape Canada for generations to come.

Take a look at some of our policies. I think you will agree that we are far more open and transparent than other parties are today.

To our American followers, similar efforts are being started up in your country.

1. Eliminate the deficit

Currently our government is overspending. This is a problem that happens year after year, and something must be done about it. The NPC Party is committed to fixing that with our fiscally sound approach. Canadians deserve better than what they have had all these years.

Remember, an NPC Government will take care to focus on the symptoms (deficit spending, debt), and away from the disease (Bank for International Settlements). Our party is committed to balancing the budget, and never going into deficit. We don’t need to get into the international usury and loss of our sovereignty. What is important is our commitment to eliminating the deficit — at some point.

2. Ending Corporate Welfare

The sun is setting on our game to enrich corporations using taxpayer dollars. Frankly, it’s surprising that it lasted as long as it has. However, our Party will stop using taxpayer money for your private gains. Or at least, we will make it harder to trace.

To all of our corporate backers, don’t fret. The NPC Party will see to it that Canadians are focused on a symptom (the money being wasted), and not on the disease (the underlying corruption). No one needs to know that your wife or uncle sits as a Director on a corporation that you paid $200M to. No one needs to know about the corporate or consulting gig you have lined up after your stint in politics.

3. Protect Free Speech

The NPC Party is committed to protecting free speech for all Canadians. As such, part of our goal will be to ensure a wide variety of voices and groups are available to participate in the public space. We’ll bring in millions more people if need be.

After all, importing large numbers of people from countries where free speech is not the norm won’t lead to demographic shifts, and cultural changes which will erode free speech. But if it does, we will be sure to blame Liberals and media bias. As a fallback, we can again pledge to defund the CBC.

4. Protect Gun Rights

The NPC Party is strongly committed to protecting law biding gun owners from harassment by authorities. Yes, we’ll slip something in the fine print to make gun ownership MORE of a headache. But what is important is what we claim to do. At the same time, we are committed to mass migration from countries where gun control is a real problem. But these things have nothing to do with each other.

Sure, we can blame it on the media, or Liberals, or of cultural changes in general. Don’t worry, we can actually do all three. But we’ll be sure not to mention that we have allowed millions of people to immigrate from countries where gun rights are non-existent. We will ensure that no one sees the connection between demographic changes and policy changes.

5. Reproductive Rights

The Nationalist Parody Canuck Party is committed to keeping abortion safe and legal, and will not reopen the debate. Sure, those cuck-parties won’t take a stand, but please don’t ask where WE stand on the issue. To ensure we aren’t considered bigots, we will use neutral language like “fetus”, instead of “baby” or “child”. Words do matter.

Our party will ensure that the public is focused on the symptom (ensuring women’s right to choose) and away from the diseases (black market organ sales, depressing the birthrate, or infanticide). Unnecessary topics don’t need to be scrutinized. You can depend on our government to deliver.

6. High Quality Education

Sure, it’s a provincial matter, but let’s weigh in on it. True, it seems wasteful to spend 3-6 years and $50,000+ on some worthless degree. However, we believe in personal responsibility and growth. Of course, these beliefs have nothing to do with union money that is funnelled to our members annually. If dimwitted students are paying to be indoctrinated with Marxist propaganda and social justice, who are we to interfere? After all, it’s only the tax payers who are guaranteeing the student loans.

To those worried about your jobs, don’t fret. Our Party will ensure that Canadians are looking at the symptoms (the nonsense of cultural Marxism), and not at the disease (the groups pushing cultural Marxism, and their motives). With our concentrated efforts, your parasitic institutions will be safe from any real scrutiny.

7. Sensible Immigration

We recognize that mass migration is a serious issue. Yes, we support the eventual genocide of the nation’s founders, but let’s not make it too obvious. As such, we propose a 5-7% reduction on immigration, while we continue to increase student visas, and temporary work permits. By appearing to address the issue, we will be miles ahead of the competition.

To those wishing to come to Canada, don’t be alarmed. Our attention will be on a symptom (one specific immigration program), and not on the disease (the replacement agenda). The NPC Party will ensure that we APPEAR to be tackling immigration, while ensuring the status quo remains in place. Perhaps we’ll pitch some “populist” lingo to dupe the voters. After all, if European nations want some semblance of stability, they’re just being racist.

8. Opposing Sharia law

Sharia Law is incompatible with Canadian law. As such, the NPC Party will ban Sharia Law from Canada, should we be elected. Certainly, we still support mass Islamic immigration into Canada. And sure, the vast majority of Muslims support Sharia Law. But Canadians can count on our party standing up for Canadian values. And it’s not like demographics shift over time, or anything like that.

Canadians must hear about the symptom (radical Islam itself), and not the disease (the groups pushing for Islamic expansion). Our party will ensure that the symptoms are burned into the consciousness of the Canadian public.

9. Freedom In Your Private Life

The NPC Party is committed to remaining out of your private life. As long as you are a law-biding citizen, and you pay your taxes, it is not our place to judge various lifestyle choices.

It’s a no brainer that the decline of society will be felt with this individualistic stance. As usual, however, you can trust in our party to deliver. Over and over we will emphasise the symptoms, (degeneracy, pornography, prostitution, drug use, globohomo, drag queen story hour, etc…) while avoiding the disease (the groups pushing and profiting from this decline). As long as we focus on individual choice — and an eye towards the consequences — society will overlook just how organized it really is.

Focus on the puppet, not the puppet-master, we say.

10. Climate Change Alarmism

Yes, climate change alarmism is a problem which a serious government must address. Notice how we refer to it as “alarmism” and not as a “scam”. The reason is simple, if we call it a scam, Canadians will expect us to take more decisive action. Language matters. Sure, eliminating carbon dioxide will end life on Earth as we know it, but let’s keep it to ourselves.

Canadians should be preoccupied with the symptoms (wasteful carbon taxes), and not on the disease (the players, the predatory UN loans and climate bonds industry). As always, you can trust our party to deliver results to you and your family.

11. Globalized Trade

The NPC party is committed to signing trade deals with as many nations as possible. Granted, many engage in currency manipulation. Granted, 3rd world nations can completely undercut Canadian manufacturers. But look at the stock prices and economic growth that will happen as a result.

As usual, Canadians can trust our party to focus on the symptoms (job losses, unemployment, lower wages), and not the disease (the free trade deals that cause it). With our help, these schmucks will never know that these policies we sign directly gut their futures and communities.

12. We Want To Rule

This political movement needs to be more than just irony or trolling. We need serious people to discuss serious issues. And (within the scope of permitted debate), we need to have a real debate on these issues.

The Nationalist Parody Canuck Party is that way forward. Put your trust in us to deliver the government that Canadians deserve. We will discuss all of the symptoms that other parties won’t, while continuing to ignore the underlying diseases.

Sure, our party has no constitution of governing documents, but that would just make it harder to shut it down when the time comes. And are leadership votes and policy votes really that important? We guarantee that we will discuss symptoms all the time.

To put it simply, “We want to rule!”

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