Babylon Beaver Endorses Open Borders, From Our Gated Community (Satire)

Canada’s leading satire outlet, the Babylon Beaver, publicly supports the call for more diversity coming to Canada. It joins the chorus of rich liberals, trust fund babies, and other cosmopolitans looking to remake the country.

However, some are concerned that their voting power is being diluted, as diverse areas take up increasing numbers of seats in the Provincial and Federal Parliaments.

Previously, the Beaver had been run out of a large metropolitan city. However, as the town grew in size, it became increasingly unfriendly and fractured …. for some reason. Taxes, crime and drugs also went up.

Currently, the parody chain is located in a gated community in Northern Ontario. The area is affluent, exclusive, and very difficult to get into. It is noted that gates communities in general are the most tolerant, advocating for open borders. Racists have decried the hypocrisy of calling to open the floodgates then they are not exposed to the consequences.

The Beaver reminds people that they are always free to have more children.

Wealthy lawyers in Toronto point out that just because a person has 400 or so years of history in Canada, that they have no right to prevent others from entering and remaining in the country.

Managing Editor Robert Putnum is a former researcher into sociology. He has looked into these trends over many years.

The Beaver is committed to supporting and nourishing multiculturalism and forced diversity — just somewhere else.

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